So used to say my mother-in-law of Blessed Memory. I ask for donations to keep the holy work of AMEN going sometime I get funny answers, and this time I want to sheare one with you, but out of mercy I will keep the correspondent anonymous, although I hope that (s)he recognizes (her/him)self and is duly ashamed: Like I say in my answer, quoting my Rebbe Reb Shlomo Carlebach, ZTz”L: “When someone is drowning, you don’t worry about trimming toenails…”

Xbrand to me:

Hi I saw your websites (some of them), particularly jstraight. I don’t see why you saw the need (or whoever wrote that) to use bad language and to point a finger at people who you feel aren’t helping. You wont’ get anywhere that way.
You won’t be credible. and chaval b/c it looks like you want to help people. I recommend you straighten out the way you communicate your message, on that site.
I only saw your ad b/c of kehillaton. I’m not looking for your help, but I can tell you that I wouldn’t want to help if I had money, seeing the horrible way it’s written.

Xbrand

Me to Xbrand:

Shalom uBeracha Xbrand,

Thank you very much for your comment; a better friend is the one who points to you your mistakes instead of letting you blindly go towards disaster, and I wish it had not taken so long for us to come across each other.

I just looked at jstraight myself and would welcome your help in pointing out the specific instance:

Xbrand  wrote:

Hi I saw your websites (some of them), particularly jstraight. I don’t see why you saw the need (or whoever wrote that) to use bad language

Where?

and to point a finger at people who you feel aren’t helping.

Whom? Do I mention names? I don’t but I have accumulated over the years a huge list of names who were actually sabotaging, and could never figure out what is in it for them to do so.

You wont’ get anywhere that way.

Well, this is why I appreciate YOUR finger pointing to me a better direction.

You won’t be credible. and chaval b/c it looks like you want to help people.

I actually do, and have done so for many years, but cannot help everybody, and because I lack the resources, so many less that do need, and seek, my help; after I went through my virtual chemotherapy ( no cancer or drugs involved, I mean something like undeserved tar and feather ) I decided that if I could spare some other children the traumas mine have endured as a consequence of a stupid and cruel divorce based on lack of sufficient parnassa, which indeed was caused by crimes committed by third parties which any decent person would not ignore.

If you have never been accused in court by false witnesses on behalf of real criminals, you have no idea of what it feels like, and if you have seen the Otzaa laPoal come at three in the morning to take away a computer which is the sole source of parnassa for a single mother, and besides not even letting her take the hard disk out which contains her data which are much more precious than the machine, while they beat up her unemployed husband in front of the children, then file charges against him for assaulting them, if you have ever seen a marijuana plant suddenly appear during the night in a sleeping teenager’s garden, followed before he had the time to wake up, by police, dogs and all who smash his head through a wall (I have the wall’s photos, and the cops’ too, my daughter who took them and managed to hide the film has had a lot more trouble as a result, and my house was searched superficially but destructively in my absence, and my lab burgled with expensive equipment disappearing into a protexiaed hand.

I have much more to tell, pure truth, which I have time and inclination to, but I just want you to understand that instead of breaking me these sad and unpleasant experiences have made me who I am, as the hammer turns iron into steel by sheer incremental molecular compression, and I am fighting an unequal battle but not altogether losing it.

I could take a hundred talented and honest, but homeless and hungry artists or trainable by me individuals, and create for them an honorable livelihood if I had the means, and they are costing so much more than what I need to society, which is being deprived of their potential productivity, and I personally know most of the hundred, which could at least count on a bowl of soup and an understanding ear before the municipality shut the water off on my premises because a pile had exploded and I had no money to fix it, and now I owe NIS 1.800 for the fine on the leak which I had not caused + 1.100 for the water bill which in the meantime has become unpayable.

This pesach four of the Holiday’s eight days, my diet consisted of water and sugar, and the whole last month I have been starving except for when possible eating at soup kitchens, and excluding my children’s weddings, two in a month and a half, where I could not invite guests because I had no money to contribute, and had to wear very thin soled shoes because someone replaced the good ones I had brought from Italy with his old and smaller ones at the mikva…

Thanks for the recommendations, but as this letter proves, it is hard to keep it all in when you are choking, and if you think that to deserve the help they need to save their life people have to first match one’s polite (to me the word means hypocrite, but to those who do not know Greek hypocrite means yet domething else…) style and not make noise as they politely bleed to death.

“When someone is drowning, you don’t trim their toenails before attempting resuscitation”
Reb Shlomo Carlebach ZTz”L

I recommend you straighten out the way you communicate your message, on that site.
I only saw your ad b/c of kehillaton. I’m not looking for your help,

Thank G-d but plenty of people are, and if I have to buy someone a  slice of pizza, that is  what I choose to do with the money, instead of wasting it on dry cleaning a shirt, because people are repelled by my dirty collar and I miss out on the generosity they bestow on the Israel or Islamic Museums, whose egregious staff will not meet with, talk to, or consider proposals by anybody not dressed in matching luxury.

but I can tell you that I wouldn’t want to help if I had money, seeing the horrible way it’s written.

I am glad that at least you told me, and G-d willing even if you don’t follow up on this I will give the matter more attention.

As a passing comment: I have no computer myself, after a virus attacked it trashing the hard disks which are at a data recovery firm until I come up with USD 1600 + VAT to get them back; a true tzaddik whose name I am not at liberty to reveal has given me the keys to his very important company’s personal ofice where from 01:00  to 09:00 I am allowed to take care of my business on his computer and connection, thus saving the avg. NIS 3.000 I was pending in Internet cafes since the my infostructure was sabotaged by a wanton anonymous to whom I also (!!!) am unknown (maybe not, maybe (s)he has read my essay “Cyberdeath” but does not even know it’s mine.

Shabbat Shalom and Hag Sameach Xbrand, I know for a fact you must be younger than me; I am 63 and have seen far too much to be hurt by your attitude, though it hurts me that it can exist. You mean wel, or you would not have written to me.

May your future be blessed with love, joy and abundance; otherwise you’d never make it…

EGO

Xbrand to me:

I didn’t know it was ad kedai kach so bad, and I now understand why you wrote what you did on the site.

For whom is that website? If it’s to make money for your tzedaka, then the judgmental attitude which came across (eg. re: the shoklers at the Wall), will turn off the very people you need to donate. And even though it seems obvious that those aren’t the people who will read the site and donate, I still think you have to be less angry in order to get the brocho. I’m not going back to the site to quote you the exact comments which sparked this letter. I’m basing it on the general attitude which came across. No one is saying you shouldn’t be angry yet how much will it help?

Anyhow, even for the small donors, you can say what you want, and strongly, without judging. People, even reshaim, can do teshuva. Meanwhile you need money. Maybe the population you want to reach will just love the way you expressed yourself on that site and will buy the book.

But maybe you should work to streamline your goals, too. They all seem admirable, but can you say the same thing in a more concise way? Have you spoken to people who work in p.r.–don’t you know anyone professional who will volunteer to help you?

I never heard of your organization before, so I’m writing as a non-hippie who doesn’t speak the way you do. If you want to reach the people who love israel/ or believe in Zionism, you have to change your image. You won’t be able to reach the mainstream if you have zero respect for anything within the mainstream. Even though there are lots of lies in the name of the state, life, etc. you still need to find the good point within it and work from there. If you don’t want to reach those people at all, then fine, continue writing in that style.This is all my opinion, and I hope you don’t think I’m putting you down.

Xbrand

Me to Xbrand:

Xbrand wrote:

I didn’t know it was ad kedai kach so bad, and I now understand why you wrote what you did on the site.

For whom is that website? If it’s to make money for your tzedaka, then the judgmental attitude which came across (eg. re: the shoklers at the Wall),

Where did I mention that???

will turn off the very people you need to donate. And even though it seems obvious that those aren’t the people who will read the site and donate, I still think you have to be less angry in order to get the brocho. I’m not going back to the site to quote you the exact comments which sparked this letter.

Does that mean that I should accept the existence of comments you appear to me to be imagining/ because I sure as Heaven have never imogined nor said that.

I’m basing it on the general attitude which came across.

Such as not shutting uip when being kicked, in order to make the kickers happy with their success in saying to me “Shhh, don’t make noise…”

No one is saying you shouldn’t be angry yet how much will it help?

G-d knows, but as long as I am under H-s Holy Watchful Gaze, why should I pretend that what happens is not happening?

Anyhow, even for the small donors, you can say what you want, and strongly, without judging. People, even reshaim, can do teshuva. Meanwhile you need money. Maybe the population you want to reach will just love the way you expressed yourself on that site and will buy the book.

But maybe you should work to streamline your goals, too. They all seem admirable, but can you say the same thing in a more concise way? Have you spoken to people who work in p.r.–don’t you know anyone professional who will volunteer to help you?

I never heard of your organization before, so I’m writing as a non-hippie who doesn’t speak the way you do. If you want to reach the people who love israel/ or believe in Zionism, you have to

I don’t “have to” diddly! especially not when it is someone else to say so.

My dear Malkie, I am going to send this last message since I already typed it, but I realize that it is a waste of time and effort trying to explain to you my paradigm; I will therefore end with this message the correspondence between us and concentrate on correspondents who can come up with concrete expressions of their  benevolence, rather than waste teir time and mine grinding water; I bless you from the deepest depths of my heart to never need concrete assistance  from anybody, because should you G-d forbid need it, you would quickly discover the shallowness of your approach when it is applied towards you.

Having said that,  I wish you a peaceful  Shabbat and a successful receiving of the Torah; who knows, maybe this time you will understand that life is not about bulshitting others to prove the superiority of your wisdom.

People are really starving, families are really breaking up leaving scattered reamnants of homeless husbands and schizofrenic children, with the occasional bullet-ridden female ex-partner’s body and the unsuccessful suicide ex-husband in a mental institution perfecting the script for the rerun…

I am doing my share to if not prevent at least moderate such sad state of affairs, more honestly than the average established-thanks-to-corruption rosh katan; and leave yoou to your butterfly hunt with a clean conscience, and a suggestion that you start thinking about deepening your consciousness and empathy, because no matter what, we are one as H’ is one, and need each other in the world to keep the world complete.

Anger is a waste of energy, but it helps being understood by thoose who really mean to undestand us, instead of embracing solipsism as their sadly deficient moral code.

change your image. You won’t be able to reach the mainstream if you have zero respect for anything within the mainstream. Even though there are lots of lies in the name of the state, life, etc. you still need to find the good point within it and work from there. If you don’t want to reach those people at all, then fine, continue writing in that style.This is all my opinion, and I hope you don’t think I’m putting you down.

Not at all, and I welcome and appreciate your advice, even though it seems intent on directing my actions towards joining the mainstream; that is not bad in itself, but if I limited myself to mainstream thinking I would not be effective in reaching the people who actually need help, so I bear the image loss and remain close enough to the marginalized by having the same vibe for the sake of resonance, and if that keeps me unfunded, so be it.

So many people express to me their great desire to help, but limit the help to the “as long as you become what I think you should be, which means that they cannot accept that people who think or act differently than them are still people, and I can live with that, but only if  a mammal can swim better than a fish, it should presume to teach the fish how to swim, PROVIDED THE FISH ASKED FOR SWIM COACHING INSTEAD OF BREADCRUMBS, which are more useful to a hungry fish than swimming lessons, especially those imparted by mammals, (yes, whales and dolphins included…).

Fare thee well, Xbrand

EGO


AMEN:

Kerem Bnei Shlomo:

Intellectual Stock Exchange:
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YAEL, Yeshiva for art, Ecology and Light:
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My Paintings:

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